The truth about gestational surrogacy

Gestational surrogacy can change the intended parents’ lives.

We know how important having a family is to intended parents and wherever you find yourself in the process, we want you to know that it is possible. There is nothing more exciting than looking into our beautiful babies’ eyes and knowing that against so many odds, you are finally parents. The important thing to know is that you can create your family and you are not alone.

Many intended parents are waiting longer to have children, waiting until their careers are under way. People are waiting longer to get married which means that they’re generally older when they start the process of having children. If you’re a non-traditional or same sex couple, then you have different issues to consider when thinking about creating your family.
For gay couples, the question is how they are you going to get pregnant. For example, many people assume that with a lesbian couple, one of the women can just have the child as if it’s as easy as going to the supermarket. People assume that a gay man or gay couple is going to adopt a child.

The bottom line is that you have to answer for yourself why you want to have a baby right now, not years ago, not in two years from now, but right now. What is the driving force behind having a child and creating a family today? Doing that sort of self-reflection can help you put priorities in place, clear the clutter that may prevent you from going forward and having children and focus your life so that if in fact, you do want that child today. Right now, that you can put in motion what’s necessary to create that.

In order to create your beautiful family right now and alleviate potential stress and strain throughout that process, it is essential that couples be at or near the same place in their minds and hearts. There are things that can be done to be sure you and your partner are on the same page, but communication is the number one key factor.
With lesbian and gay families, society doesn’t have any preconceived expectations about who is going to be the primary caregiver. Thus. those are issues that should be discussed in advance. That way, it’s more natural after the child becomes part of the family.

In a sense, surrogacy is just a fertility treatment. Through gestational surrogacy, intended parents still use A.R.T. procedures, particularly In Vitro Fertilization. It’s the same game. There is a couple that wants to have a child but a different woman is used to do it. You’re using a third person, a woman, who can carry that child for you.

Surrogacy is not an option that people jump to when they can’t conceive or get pregnant to have their own children, but it can potentially save thousands of dollars and cut years off of the process of creating a family.

We often found intended parents asking: “Why didn’t we know about surrogacy from the beginning? After going through too many fertility treatments, we would have chosen gestational surrogacy if we had been aware of it earlier” It felt like a hidden option, almost like a secret underworld.

There was a time when people used to whisper, “Hey, he’s gay.”

Well, it’s almost like that with surrogacy. Surrogacy agencies are not marketing to pull you in; there are no billboards like there are for adoption that say, “Choose surrogacy to have your children.”
When you want to have a child. it’s about having that child as soon as possible and not spending all of your life savings to create that family. All the other issues with regard to creating your family as far as the cost, the success rate, and emotional issues that we have already talked about are the same as going through the fertility process.

There are surrogacy agencies that you can find online that have women who are already qualified to be surrogates and who are available for surrogacy.
The agency has the ready list of surrogates available. If you don’t want to find one on your own, this is a way to be able to pay, have a surrogate immediately who you choose from available profiles.

Surrogacy agencies in the U.S. can be extremely expensive. A couple should expect to pay no less than $100.000 when using an agency. However, while some of that fee goes to the agency, the majority goes to the surrogate.
Surrogates can be from all over the United States and the world (if resident), and there are very limited laws on surrogacy.

When you use a surrogate through an agency, there is usually a relationship between the intended parents and the surrogate. That can be an advantage or disadvantage depending on what level of relationship they want to have.
If there is no relationship or if that surrogate lives across the world, that can limit your ability to partake in the process, go to doctor appointments and things like that. All surrogates who go through credible and ethical agencies have to meet certain requirements.

The surrogate must be under a certain age. has to have their own children already, their body fat index must be less than a certain number, and they have to disclose any mental health issues or any medications they’re taking or have taken. It is a screening process that the agency does for two reasons. First, it ensures the likelihood of success with regard to carrying a child to term and second, it confirms the surrogate’s choice not to parent that child.

It’s also important to understand what surrogates look for in the intended parents.
Even though a gestational carrier has no biological connection to the child, the surrogates are still very interested to know that this child is going to be in a good home with good parents. They don’t want to carry a child for a couple that doesn’t seem to be in love and is not going to provide well for the child.

It’s also important to understand what surrogates look for in the intended parents.
Even though a gestational carrier has no biological connection to the child, the surrogates are still very interested to know that this child is going to be in a good home with good parents. They don’t want to carry a child for a couple that doesn’t seem to be in love and is not going to provide well for the child.

Laws don’t define the relationship intended parents will have with their surrogate. The way parties define it is through contracts so they are all protected through contract law. The relationship is going to last at least nine months or more and parents usually want to determine how often they’re going to communicate with her.

Most of the surrogates who are looking for surrogacy focus on helping couples or gay men, but not lesbians.

There are a lot of surrogates who want to help gay men but there aren’t who “advertised” that would help lesbians. When agencies contact candidates mentioning a lesbian couple many of them says “they hadn’t thought of that.”

Whether you’re using an agency for surrogacy or doing it informally, there are two different types of surrogates.

1. Traditional surrogacy: the surrogate has a genetic bond with the child
2. Gestational surrogacy: the surrogate does not provide her own eggs, her role is limited to pregnancy and delivery.

The gestational surrogacy contract is one of the most important parts of the journey. It prevent miscommunication and disputes, set clear boundaries, timelines and expectations and protect alla parties: the surrogate, the intended parents and the baby.

The surrogacy contract should spell out what the compensation to the surrogate for carrying the child is, and what incidentals intended parents are willing to pay for.

For example, it could be travel expenses and/or babysitting expenses for when the surrogate goes to her doctor’s appointments. If the surrogate has to be on bed rest due to the pregnancy, parents could agree to pay for a housekeeper to maintain the house, a babysitter to watch the kids while she’s on bed rest and a clothing allowance because a pregnant woman is going to need new clothes throughout the pregnancy.

Which IVF clinic and doctor the surrogate is going to use, where she is going to deliver (state or hospital), what to do in the event of multiples and selective reduction procedures can be covered by the contract.

Some country directly outlaw gestational surrogacy, for example French, Italy and Spain. Within the US, Michigan and Louisiana do not allow surrogacy at all. Some country expressly permit it, but most just don’t have laws relative to surrogacy at all, and that’s when it falls under contract law and Courts ruling.
Advice from experts in the field become mandatory. It is so worth it when there are issues, but even when there are no issues parents want to make sure everything is covered.

The lawyers should be experienced with surrogacy issues. There needs to be a different lawyer for the intended parents and the surrogate in the US. The intended parents are going to be the ones who pay for both lawyers.
In some country, with same sex couples only one parent becomes the parent upon birth and the second one must petition for a second- parent adoption. You’ll need a lawyer for that process. It’s good to get the lawyer from the beginning so they can prepare all of this paperwork and be sure to file everything at the right time and make the transition smooth.

Gestational surrogacy offers a valuable option for intended parents who may face challenges in starting or growing their family through traditional means. While it may seem like a complex and less visible path, the opportunities it provides (such as overcoming fertility challenges, avoiding the financial strain of prolonged treatments, and finding a way to have children) can make it an essential consideration. It’s important to fully understand the process, from choosing the right surrogate to navigating legal and contractual considerations. Ultimately, with careful planning, communication, and the right support, surrogacy can help bring your dreams of parenthood to life.